Sooo, my grandmother literally has like THOUSANDS of DVDs (like, literally). I was helping her clean them out one day a while ago and a couple of titles/types of movies I came across:
Reefer Madness
Real Crackhead Fights
Movies about Pimps
Southpark (she put me on)
Boondocks (she put me on that as well)
Plus, many others that I cannot remember, but shall look for again one day.
“I was about to go to my computer, but I have to finish watching this sexually abused family on Dr. Phil first!”
“When I was younger, I was so drunk and driving one time, DON’T DO IT!!! IT’S BAD!!! But I was driving and fell asleep at the traffic light for 15 minutes! Hahahaha!!!!!”
Going to spend the day with Grandma today!! Hopefully I come back with more hilarious shit lol.
I was going to drive to North Carolina by myself, and my grandma was giving me a talk on how not to talk to strangers, be safe, blah blah blah:
Grandma: I really want you to be careful out there, okay?
Me: Yes, I will
Grandma: You know it’s cannibals out there. You don’t want to get eaten, do you?
Me: Well, ummm, hehehe
Grandma: Oh, wait! You don’t want to get CANNIBALIZED, do you??
Both: Bahahahaha!!!!!!
A conversation between me and my grandma about drinking:
Grandma: When I used to drink, I liked my drink like I like my men; STRAIGHT!
Me: Oh you gangsta!
Grandma: Ohhh, is that what that’s called?
“I know I need to be more open, but I just can’t get with that man-man kissing and woman-woman kissing”
So, as many of you know, Kunta Kinte named his daughter Kizzy (it means “stay put”). Here is the very brief conversation that happened between my little cousin and my Grandma:
Cousin: My Mandinka name is Pizzy! It means shut up and stay put!
Grandma: Pizzy?!?!? Noooo, that means you need depends!
“I told my friend the other day that even though I don’t drink, I felt like I need one! But I’m not going to drink because I might like it and become an alcoholic. I can’t afford to be an alcoholic!”
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